First post in what i hope to be a continually used diary, at least until something else comes along to leave these notes as some kind of reference for future information junkies. I'll try to leave some potent content to ease your fix.
I am 30-something still, which is refreshing, 5'10.5 , somewhat educated in the way only my alien mind can process after years of university, so called technical IT training, experiential cognitive re-visitations allowing for re-calibrations of reactions to new stimuli as it meets my inner nature.
My goals, which seem to live just beyond my reach (reminds me of some famous quote), are most ambitious and which rely on opportunities to become available. I shall outline them and talk about them considerably over the time of my use of this blog, ideally to gain a perspective that will not only shift my mind but also my location in connection with the doors that may open to allow access to these dreams.
First goal is the creation of a Peer to Peer educational tool that will be useful to Secondary, post-secondary, vocational and technical education users of many different cognitive presets. ANother goal, more personal, is to find a space of my own on this planet with a partner who thrives as much on me as i would on her (yes, hetero-based) . This is a bit more complicated because of who I am and how i tend to live my life. Recovering my once good physical conditioning (its not terrible now but out of training condition) through regular activities such as running, cycling, swimming mixed with long hikes, gym equipment and possibly stetching activities appropriate for my soul (Yoga being possibly one of them).
It would also be great to find a teacher of Zen to work with, to define my present awareness and to find ways to challenge the present status quo that I live by to help improve this 'sef' to be better able to asist others around me in a positive way.
While there are other goals, such as photography and working as a camera operating on film, writing a science fiction novel or 2 and improving my dj skills on my turntables to travel europe and play out and receive remuneration and accolades... I'm also looking at my present situation after losing my computer support clients and virtually non-existant Point of Sale contract work now which ued to help me 'get by'. Getting by is no way to live life anyways, and I think in some ways the present moment is as it should be, without even a hint of what might come.
Some parts of life, you just have to find that trust in yourself to keep going and doing whatever has to be done to keep moving. I wont lie and say i havent thought about just totally giving up on life, but since there is only NOW, there is no reason to live in a future that has yet to be produced. No way to know the future means all that counts is this moment and its best to sieze it and find ways to enjoy it no matter where you might find yourself.
Goals are funny things, its a positive testimony to the deeper self you would like to craft, but really each moment and each movement will change the universe around you and your inner nature. Meditation is one very important way to let go and allow the world to embrace you and your goals, instead of letting your goals own and run you.
I have recently come to the determination that while i'm not build to be a monk, Buddhism plays a huge element in my future development and personal discovery. I am not buil to play 1 role in this world until i retire and watch tv til my body gives up. And for that I am ever thankful, but I will say it presents very unique and difficult challenges in a society that seems to emand 40-80 hours of work a week and major consumer like spending, something I just cant connect with.
I plan to enjoy as much of every moment I have while alive and sitting in an office just doesnt make it to the implementation stage of what i do every day. That isnt to say i'm lazy, I'm just dedicated to finding the tools and sills to use those tools for making a better world for everyone.
Some I know think i should go into Massage Therapy because i have good hands, pthers think i should be content with low end IT jobs. While i do appreciate those sentiments and while i do find directly helping others satisfying and personally rewarding, I need to find a way to being my creative ideas out and into the world.
I think it would be very hard to make a positive impact on the world as a warehouse order picker. I may have to do just that for a while, I really dont think being on the street is going to help either. Going back to school is on the forefront of my mind, which may open many more opportunities to a happier future.
Ideally i will post more day to day happenings, photographs from my camera, words of cryptic wisdom from myself or from a teacher who totally confuses me.
and on that note, what does this say about society exactly...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAk77Kr_OwQWhat if you're more a bonsai person... lol
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonsai
